In my observation of June 8, 2023, I covered the Nixon/Watergate era, and referred to the first investigative journalist of note, columnist Jack Anderson. I had a teaser in the observation about later revealing my (sort of) association with him. Here it goes:
How many of you have a conscience? Well, I do, and he’s in my closet on a shelf looking me over as I dress each day. He’s not a pervert, he’s a stuffy toy cricket with a top hat and an umbrella---you know the one---Pinocchio’s conscience, Jiminy. I’ve had this cricket in my life since I was about seven, although this toy is actually Jiminy Cricket v.2, the first one gone long ago.
Now, just because I have that conscience doesn’t mean I always follow his advice. Pinocchio didn’t, and we all know where that got him a few times.
It is said that character is what you have when nobody is watching. Over the years, we have been surrounded by character-based axioms: “Would you do that if your mother was watching,” “Karma will get you,” and for me, “What if Jack Anderson found out.” After Desert Storm, our Jiminy Cricket became CNN Headline News, because we learned then what we did on the battlefield now would later be seen on every TV screen in the world. It even became legend that Saddam Hussein watched CNN to get the latest on Allied movements during the war.
So, fast forward, and the CNN factor has become the camera phone. Almost all we do in public is recorded with this modern method plus cameras for traffic, on the porch, and in our cars, so why do we have (OK, I’ll say it…STUPID) people committing crimes and offences AND RECORDING THEMSELVES doing it? A most recent example is guys tipping over million-year-old rock formations in Lake Mead National Recreation Area. Maybe they left their Jiminy Crickets of Conscience in a pawnshop somewhere.
I digress, back to Jack Anderson.
From the 1950’s through 2004, when he retired as a columnist at 81, Anderson exposed Mafia goings-on in the U.S., corruption in the White House, secret CIA operations, and the JFK cover-up conspiracy. Another area he liked to investigate was development of equipment for the DOD, especially if the projects involved government waste. And this is where I come in.
After the Vietnam war, Air Force Security Police (SP) units transitioned some of their law enforcement and aircraft/missile security responsibilities over to more of an airbase defense mode. We shared this concept of protection with the U.S. Army, and in the late 1970’s the Pentagon decided the Army would patrol outside the airbase wire as far as five or more kilometers. This left the Air Force SP forces with the gap from the fence line out to where the Army was on duty. The training for this new SP role was at Camp Bullis, TX, where I was an instructor from 1981 through 1985.
Now, the vehicles both the AF and the Army used after Vietnam were leftover jeeps, 1960’s armored track and wheeled vehicles, and other cargo carrying trucks. The DOD was looking to replace this old and odd assortment with a single model adapted to a variety of missions that could also meet the needs for the new airbase defense role.
You guessed it, the one I’m leading to is the Hummer, or the HMMWV. Developed by American Motors/General, the high-mobility, multipurpose, wheeled vehicle, was already being tested. In 1983, after being selected for DOD production, it was time to write the technical order (T.O.), which is the military equivalent of that thick everything-you-need-to-know book you have in your car’s glovebox.
I was the AF representative to pen that T.O., along with reps from the Army and Marines, and the three of us sergeants spent ten days in Dearborn, Michigan running the test Hummer through its paces and writing up the notes as we went. We learned everything about its off-the-shelf engine and transmission, the new run-flat tires, the adaptability of the basic M-998 into an ambulance, a communications van, and a troop carrier, and we discovered the HMMWV was designed to carry a variety of weapons on top for “shooting and scooting” on the run instead of standing and fighting an advancing enemy. Unlike the Army’s tanks or the old AF combat vehicles, the Hummer WAS NOT intended to be a heavy-plated armored car.
In short, all three of us sergeants were going to have to tell our commanders the HMMWV was not going to be a simple plug-and-play replacement for the war-fighting vehicles on which we were basing our combat philosophies.
Well, I get back to Camp Bullis, write up my report, highlight the physical pros and cons of the machine itself, comment on the vulnerabilities of adapting this vehicle to the new SP combat airbase defense missions, and tuck myself into bed. Two days later the persona of Jack Anderson landed squarely on my desk.
The commander stormed into my workspace (our office had six desks in it), slapped my report down on the desk and through gritted teeth said: “How much did he pay you for this!” “He who,” I replied, now standing at attention. “That f***ing Anderson, that’s who.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about, SIR.”
The commander then covered my report with a copy of a newspaper with Anderson’s column “The Washington Merry-Go-Round” on the top page. Citing an anonymous military source, Anderson’s text was almost word-for-word from my report on the HMMWV.
It took a few days for the investigation to clear me, but I knew my conscience would remain intact. Anderson is dead now by almost 20 years, and I still don’t know, nor care, from whom he got his information.
But, back to that conscience thing; is honesty our basic makeup and we naturally choose to do right when no one is looking, or do the cameras and the Jack Andersons of the world make us feel guilty enough to NOT commit that offense for fear of the repercussions of getting caught? Honestly, for me there were times it could have been either of the above. My conscience, my stuffed Jiminy Cricket, knows that about me, and he hopes I will selflessly keep to the high road to eventually become a real boy.
Just like Pinocchio!
Best regards to all, and let’s be safe out there.
