Stieg Larsson, page 403, The Girl Who Played with Fire: “There are no innocents. There are, however, different degrees of responsibility.”
"The Contender" is a 2000 movie with Joan Allen and Jeff Bridges. Allen’s character is a nominee for Vice President after the sitting VP dies unexpectedly. Allen’s opponents in Congress surface with an old video of a young woman having sex with two men in a college orgy alleging the woman is Allen. (Spoiler alert: lots of twists in the plot, and she is not the woman.)
Two in-my-face things bring me to the context of the movie: (1) my 50th HS class reunion was this year, and (2) the mid-term elections are approaching with their share of mudslinging and dirt digging. Regretfully, I was unable to attend my reunion, so the mid-terms first.
Regardless of political affiliation, the ad makers tend to focus on the opponent’s past. I saw one ad during the primaries that went back almost 40 years in a candidate’s life. Now, we should certainly consider past voting records and issue positions, but for a candidate with no political history the temptation is to look for damage elsewhere. And I’d wager there will always be someone out there who is happy to share those dirty little secrets.
I detest it when people use extremes such as "ALL" and "EVERYONE," but I’m going to push my own border and say, I suspect MOST of us have people in our lives with “dangerous memories” who start conversations with “I remember when you did….” These are the people who won’t let us forget our old sins, errors, or lapses in judgment. The glass house from which these stone throwers operate is that a leopard can’t change his spots, even though he was just a cub at the time of the lapse.
Now about reunions in general (the event, not my classmates!). By default, reunions focus on remembrance of shared experiences; however, get enough alcohol flowing and the good, the bad, and the ugly can come out. (I’m certainly glad we didn’t have smartphones back then.) Now I’m not saying I was a criminal when I was younger or since, but there are things from my past (driving under the influence comes to mind), that if I were running for an elected position, others may be tempted to say those fateful words, “I remember when you….”
Should a bad snap decision made in a heated moment undo a solid past or a planned future? Can there be a point where “forgive and forget” truly takes place? I suppose it depends on the context of the decision. Garth Brooks sings “we bury the hatchet, but we leave the handle sticking out.” And Don Williams adds “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget.”
Two Buddhist monks come to a river where a woman is trying to cross. The elder monk picks her up, carries her and sets her on the opposite shore. The monks leave, but after a while, the younger monk asks, “Brother, are we not supposed to touch women; how can you justify carrying her?” The elder monk replies: “She was in need, and I left that woman back there on the shore, so why can’t you?”
So, maybe the way to work this problem is to reverse the saying: I’ll forget, which in and of itself, is to forgive.
And there but for the grace of God, go I.
Best regards to all, especially my classmates from 1972, and let’s be safe out there.
